Priority: Wedding
by JuneLuxray2
Summary: Kaidan proposes to Shepard while she is recovering in the hospital. The press finds out and it explodes into a galaxy-wide news event. With a wedding that's going to be bigger than any royal wedding, let the migraines for Kaidan begin. Shenko, post Mass Effect 3.
1. Proposal

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

A black ring box's hinges snapped open and shut as the top of the box was played with by the hands of a worried man. Kaidan Alenko stared at the box with a diamond ring inside as he toyed with it absentmindedly. He was in a hospital waiting room, where he had held vigil for the last few hours.

Shepard had required surgeries, and she was recovering from one done the day prior. He wasn't even sure she would awake that day, or the next, or the day after the next. But he had promised himself to be there when Shepard awoke. Kaidan had had enough of almost losing her; so he had got a ring to make it permanent. He was going to propose to the commander that saved the Milky Way.

By now reporters had seen the second human spectre buy a diamond ring and rumors had already been slung around that he was going to ask Commander Jane Shepard to marry him. Worry bubbled in him that made him forget the giant wedding that could come; what if Shepard didn't survive all the surgeries? What if she lost too much blood? What if it wasn't possible to save the savior?

The hospital he was in, one that had miraculously survived the Reapers while being situated in Ireland, was bustling with activity. He was not the only one waiting for a loved one. Other people, wives and husbands and children and family and friends of soldiers waited for status on their beloved. These people were of all races, asari, turian, salarian, quarian, and other races that had helped defend Earth in the final push. Every now and then Kaidan was approached by one of these people waiting. The people offered their thoughts for Shepard and expressed awe just for being in the same hospital as Shepard.

Kaidan accepted these with kind reception, but he almost instantly forgot them when alone. Jane was the only thing on his mind. The biotic did not pay attention to the hustle and bustle; to him, the world was silent. It would remain silent until his girlfriend's status was given.

His luck came. A nurse entered the room and called out his name. "Kaidan Alenko?" He looked up to see a nurse in the doorway to the rest of the hospital. "Shepard is awake now and she's expected to make a full recovery. I told her you were here and she asked you to come in."

The major heaved a deep sigh of utter relief. He deposited the ring box into his pocket and stood up. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

"Come on. I'll lead you to her room." Kaidan followed the nurse out of the waiting room and into the rest of the building. They didn't have to walk for long; her room was just nearby the nurse's station, so they could keep a close eye on her. She opened the door and allowed Kaidan to enter before leaving.

Shepard's room was undoubtedly one of the best in the hospital. There was only one bed, occupied by the person Kaidan had been waiting for weeks to talk to. Shepard was still bruised and battered, but looked considerably better. Color had returned to her skin and she was no longer soaked in blood. She had a few scars and stitches here and there, but otherwise she was in excellent condition considering what had happened. Her green eyes locked onto Kaidan and a grin graced her face.

"Kaidan."

"Shepard...don't ever pull a stunt like that again." he remarked, his previous worry still etched on his face. He took a seat by her bedside. Shepard's eyes did not lack the signs of exhaustion, but she still managed to smirk at him.

"I'll try not to. I'm happy to see you, Kaidan."

"You don't know how happy I am to see you, too." He leaned in and the two exchanged a kiss. Pulling away, he exhaled. "So how are you doing?"

"Eh, got a few burns, some scars and some blood loss, but I'm alive. I'd call that perfect. How about you, Kaidan?" she asked. Her boyfriend shrugged.

"Been waiting for you for hours. Would've gone onto days if I had to. But right now I'm great. Just seeing you makes me happy."

"Happy to see you, too. So what's new with you?"

"Nothing much. I mean, some governments and the Alliance have been giving me awards by the bucket full, same for you. And for everyone on the Normandy. I think I lost count for the ones you have."

"Figures. Right now I don't care about awards or medals or merits. All I care about is being with you. Being with everyone who made it. I'm glad you're here." she said. Kaidan nodded and held her hand.

"Everything went better than expected."

"Except for EDI and Anderson..." Shepard muttered sadly. He frowned and then tried to smile again.

"About that...Joker had a bad feeling before you went to Earth. He told Edi about his worries, and she suggested he save a copy of all her memories in a disk. After she was destroyed, Joker still had her memories. So the engineers are rebuilding her. With some luck, she'll be okay." he said. She beamed, relieved.

"That's great. I felt bad when Edi died, but the Reapers had to go. She's being rebuilt...maybe I'll be able to see her again soon enough. Though I still really miss Anderson." Shepard brushed a red hair out of her face, and with some effort, pushed away her melancholy for a moment to grin at Kaidan. He remembered the ring in his pocket and took a breath.

"Shepard...I've almost lost you over and over again. I lost you for two years. I almost lost you at the Collector base. I've almost lost you countless times, and I almost just lost you again. You've risked your life so many times for everyone. I'm tired of always worrying if the next day, you'll be in my arms. So it's time..." He retrieved the box from his pocket, knelt down on the ground beside the bed and looked up at Shepard. "Marry me, Shepard."

The commander stared, speechless. Suddenly everything flashed before her. Her start with romance with Kaidan, Saren, dying and coming back, Cerberus, the Collectors, the Reapers, and everything that led up to this moment. Danger was no longer present, and she was finally free. And a proposal had come in the end.

She took the ring and placed it on her finger and kissed Kaidan again. "Of course I'll marry you. I love you, Kaidan." The two embraced and when they pulled apart, Shepard leaned back in the bed. "So we're getting married. How 'bout that? Goes against regs, but fuck the regs, we're spectres who just saved the galaxy. Plus it didn't stop my mom and dad."

"Of course. But, uh...press already kind of knows. They saw me buying a ring and assumed."

"That's just lovely," Shepard remarked sarcastically, "a press-filled wedding. So what, is this going to be bigger than any royal wedding?"

"You know it. I should just prepare myself for migraines. Lots and lots of migraines."

"Well, I guess wedding planning starts in the hospital. I've got to send some extranet mails out..."


	2. Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**  
**Story (c) Me**

Shepard invited Liara, Tali, Jack, Miranda, and Kasumi to come to the hospital. It took some effort, but with Liara's help and the Shadow Broker network, they tracked down Kasumi. Two days after getting engaged to Kaidan, the girls called in were assembled in her room in the hospital. They had all been happy to see her awake and healthy. Most of them (Jack not included) gave her a hug. Jack just gave her a fist-bump.

"It's so good again to see you, Shepard." Liara said. Shepard nodded.

"Likewise."

"Glad to see you're in one piece, Shep." Kasumi remarked cheerfully.

"We owe a lot to you, Shepard. It's a relief to see you." Miranda said. Tali shrugged.

"Ditto what they said."

Jack snickered. "Are we done kissing and hugging yet?"

"She almost died, Jack." Miranda said flatly. Jack snorted.

"I know that, and I'm glad she's not dead, but any more of this and I might as well start puking from the sweetness."

Miranda rolled her eyes and turned to Shepard. "Anyways, thanks for inviting us."

Kasumi spoke up. "I heard you're getting married, Shep. Congratulations." she said. Shepard grinned and nodded. She gazed at all of them.

"Thanks. Anyways..." Shepard grunted as she sat up, wincing as she hit a bruise at moving, "That's actually why I asked all of you to come over here. I want you all to be my bridesmaids." she said. A few gasped, and a few just nodded. "And Liara..." The asari looked up at Shepard. "I want you to be my maid of honor."

Liara gasped again. "Oh my goodness, Shepard, this is..amazing. Of course I'll be your maid of honor."

"Great. And how many of you want to be bridesmaids?" the Commander asked. All of them voiced their agreement. Liara beamed.

"Shepard, I'll take care of everything. You rest up. I'll work with you and we'll figure out the wedding plans."

"Hey, don't forget us," Kasumi said, "We want a word in, too."

"Alright. So it's settled, then. You are all now my bridesmaids." Shepard said. Jack laughed.

"I never saw myself ever as a bridesmaid, but I guess that's what's going down. And I just gotta to say, I love your lineup of maids, Jane. You got me, the Psychotic Biotic, a master thief, a quarian admiral, an ex-Cerberus bitch, and the Shadow Broker as your maid of honor. It sounds like the beginning of a joke."

"Haha. Very funny, Jack," Miranda said, sounding slightly irritated at being called an ex-Cerberus bitch, "well, wedding, here we come."

"Make sure to let me do the bachelorette party!" Jack said. Kasumi pouted.

"Aww, I wanted to do the party!"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the Normandy, six men were in the lounge of the crew deck. Kaidan had called them in. Garrus, Cortez, Joker, James, and Javik were waiting to hear what he had to say. All of them were situated around the Poker table, and James was already beginning to play with the cards. Javik finally spoke first. "Major Alenko, what are we here for? Being idle is making me anxious."

"Right. Well, you all know I proposed to Shepard."

"Of course, _hombre!_" James said, high-fiving Kaidan, "What about it?"

"I want you guys to be my groomsmen."

All the men with the exception of Javik began to clap and cheer. Javik blinked his four eyes in confusion. "I am aware of what a wedding is, but not groomsmen. What do those do?"

"It's, uh...well, I guess you help the groom prepare for the wedding..."

"You mean mostly party prior to marriage with a little bit of preparation." Cortez said, pushing around a die on the table. Garrus laughed.

"It's mostly a human thing, Javik, but as long as I get alcohol, I'm good."

Javik paused for a second. "This seems rather pointless." he said. Joker shrugged.

"Well, think of it this way. In the part we prepare it's all for Shepard's special day. Do it for the Commander." he said. Javik sighed.

"Very well. If it is for the Commander who saved the galaxy and ended the cycle, I shall partake in this primitive ceremony. And I suppose it's not like I have anything better to do. Just two weeks ago all I had in my life was war and Reapers and now both of those are gone."

"Thanks, Javik," Kaidan said, "and now, Joker...I want to know if you'll be my best man."

The pilot smirked. "I already called it three years ago. It'll be a pain in the ass for my legs, but it'll be worth it to be best man."

"So what now?" Garrus asked, lifting his legs up on the table and leaning back in his chair. "Do we go get tuxes or what?"

"I'm waiting to hear what Shepard and the bridesmaids want to do. We'll figure it out from there. Shepard said that she was going to invite Liara as her maid of honor, and Tali, Kasumi, Miranda, and Jack as her bridesmaids, by the way."

"So we're going the interesting way, aren't we?" Garrus uttered, stretching. "So be it."


	3. The Council's Offer

**It took me way too long to get this out there.**

**Also, thanks to the ME wiki for listing all the human colonies in Mass Effect so I could find one for the purposes of this fanfic.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

Once Shepard was recovered and ready to go, she went back to the Normandy, and everyone followed. In-between small missions, the crew began making plans for the wedding. The war room had been somewhat transformed into a wedding planning room for lack of better words while Liara used the Shadow Broker network to help her plan for her best friend's wedding.

At the moment they (the bride, groom, and their maids and men,) were in the war room, as Liara tapped at her omni-tool. "I think the first thing we should do is find a place where the wedding will take place. I've gotten multiple offers from all sorts of different places, all vying to host it. I've knocked out a few of them that I thought would be inappropriate, and I narrowed it down to what I thought the best option would be. Demeter."

"What's Demeter?"

"A planet in a system connected to the Charon Relay. It was humanity's first extrasolar colony. It's a garden world, with a very small population of farmers. It was untouched by the Reapers. The number of colonists was too small for the Reapers to focus on in the war we had. No doubt it would've been next if we failed. The president of the colony sent us the offer to have the wedding for free there. If you like the idea, I'll set up an appointment to go look at the colony and its facilities."

Kaidan grinned. "It sounds nice and quiet. I say go for it."

"Alright." Liara used her omni-tool to send a response, and Kasumi crossed her arms.

"I thought you wanted to get married at English Bay."

"No, that's where we're having the honeymoon. I don't want the huge crowds near there. So Shepard and I can have some privacy." Kaidan responded. It was at that moment Joker spoke over the intercom from the cockpit.

"Hey Shepard, Alenko, the Councilors want to talk to you two in the comm room."

Shepard frowned. "Oh, Lord. This can't be good. Alright."

"Excuse us for a moment." Kaidan said as the two walked into the comm room. Shepard played around with the controls, and the councilors appeared onscreen. The two readied themselves for no doubt disapproval of some sort for their marriage. It was a shock when the asari councilor began to speak.

"Commander Shepard and Major Alenko, we'd like to begin by congratulating you two."

"Excuse me?" Kaidan blurted.

"I understand you two were probably expecting some level of disapproval, but for all the trouble we've given Shepard over the years and been consistently wrong, we are in no place to disagree with the proposal." the salarian councilor remarked. "We'd like to offer you two our blessings. We also have another offer for you."

Shepard folded her hands behind her back. "And that is?"

"The Citadel is being rapidly rebuilt as part of reconstruction. Within a few months, it would be ready to host weddings. We'd like to offer you two, the first human spectres, a place to hold the wedding on the Citadel. No charge. It would be great news for galactic society if you would accept the offer." the turian councilor finished.

So that was what it was. Attention for the to-be newly-rebuilt Citadel. Kaidan shook his head. "I'm sorry, Councilors, but Shepard and I have found a place we're considering getting married in, and..."

"The Citadel holds too many bad memories for me. We appreciate the offer, though."

"Oh." The asari councilor sounded disappointed. Shepard, reading their depressed body language, spoke up again.

"Councilors, we haven't sent out official invitations yet, but would you like to come to our wedding when it comes around?"

The response was instantaneous. "Of course! We'd be honored to attend." the salarian councilor said cheerfully.

"Glad to hear. Have a nice day, Councilors." Kaidan replied.

"Same to you, Major Alenko and Commander Shepard. Council out." The comm faded, and Kaidan turned to Shepard.

"Think we did the right thing by inviting them?"

"It would be weird if we didn't in the first place. Political nonsense, you know."

"I suppose you're right. Anyways, let's go." The two left the room, and Liara looked up at them.

"I got a response right away. It sounds like Demeter is willing to have you come visit in an hour if you have the time. Shepard?"

"We've got time. Joker, plot a course to Demeter."


	4. Demeter

**This chapter's kinda rushed and not my best. Sorry.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

Soon enough the Normandy landed on Demeter's soft, grassy surface. It landed just outside of the capital, which was tiny and surrounded by fields. The planet was quiet and quaint, with an almost rustic taste of the countryside. As everyone piled out of the ship, Joker was the only one left behind. Shepard stopped and raised an eyebrow at him before she disembarked. "Joker, aren't you coming?"

Joker shook his head. "Nah. I'm sure the planet's fine for the wedding. I'll let you guys be the judges. I've got some other business to attend to."

"Alright then. If you need anything, you know where we'll be." Shepard left, Kaidan at her side, and as soon as they were out, Joker turned his seat around and slowly got to his feet. Engineer Adams, Gabby, and Ken approached the bridge. Joker's face was inscrutable at first, and then full of desperate hope.

"Is she ready?"

"As ready as she'll ever be. You and the rest of the team have put a lot of time, energy, and funds into this. We're almost done, but we'll need your help." Adams responded. Joker looked at a small chip in his hand, and he deposited it in his pocket.

"I'm on it."

* * *

Truth be told, Shepard had spent very little time on Earth aside from her detainment or any one garden planet in particular. Growing up on Alliance space ships and ports made her almost forget there were green fields and planets below. The planet was eerily silent for her, and yet relaxing. She was taken slightly aback by the sight of sprawling fields of crops or pens for livestock and horses. It had a strange vibe she did not often experience, and it was fascinating.

Kaidan took a deep breath in and out. "The air is so fresh here. I haven't been this at ease since when I was a kid growing up in Canada."

Jack frowned. "It's kind of frightening to me. Usually silence in wide, open areas mean that shit's about to go down, but since I know nothing is going to come out of those fields of crops...it's really strange. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to make of this."

"Don't make anything of it. It'll come to you." Miranda responded. Jack glared at her.

"Bitch, don't tell me what to do."

Miranda just rolled her eyes and said nothing. Javik, however, nodded in agreement.

"I agree with the human. Being exposed to violence from youth makes this silence feel as if a ghost is passing through you."

"Can't anyone just admire the scenery and not become poetic or sentimental?" Garrus asked aloud, exasperated.

"I hear that. I wonder if they're growing strawberries here? I like strawberries." Kasumi replied. Everyone stopped when a small group exited the capital building. There was a short man with dark brown hair along with a few farmers, dressed handsomely to greet the group.

The short man approached Shepard and Kaidan, who was leading. "Commander Shepard and Major Alenko?"

"That's us." Shepard responded. The man beamed.

"Oh! So wonderful you two are here. It's such an honor." He shook their hands. "I'm President Winthrop. Forgive the informal settings, but we rarely greet people of such high honor. We're elated you two are considering our quiet planet for a wedding."

"You don't get a lot of visitors?" Cortez asked. The president shook his head.

"No, no one other than shippers, suppliers, and resident farmers coming and going. In all truth, it's probably how we survived the Reapers for so long."

Kaidan smiled. "In any case, we'd like to thank you for inviting us down here. You've got a beautiful colony."

"The pleasure is mine. Here, let me show you around..."

**One hour later...**

Shepard and Kaidan were pleased with what they saw. The facilities and reception grounds were perfect, and beautiful to boot. Jack and Javik had been somewhat uneasy with the open, quiet and serene surroundings, but accepted it. At some point James and Kasumi plucked a berry or two from the fields when no one was looking, much to Shepard's frustration.

"This place is gorgeous!" Tali declared. "It's almost as beautiful as Rannoch."

"Prettier than the Citadel right now, at least." Garrus snorted. Kaidan spoke up.

"I think this is our place, but, um, Mr. President, how much exactly will it cost us to rent the space for a few hours?" he asked, a little worried. The president beamed.

"I'm glad you asked. We're going to charge you not a single penny."

"_What?_" Shepard and Kaidan blurted, shocked. Winthrop laughed.

"You see, we think this wedding, aside from being a huge honor just to host it in the first place, we believe it could get us a lot of business. Everyone will want to get married where the galaxy's saviors got married. It would be a great way to boost our economy. So don't worry about a thing; if you agree, you just say the date and we'll get ready."

Shepard, still a little taken aback by such an offer, shook his hand. "Wow, I...I really appreciate it, sir. We'd love to."

"Great. Do you have any specific dates in mind yet?"

Shepard and Kaidan stared at each other. Liara tapped her omnitool. "At the earliest, I think we can throw the wedding three to five months from now, but I could probably manage earlier. I'm not sure it will even take that long, considering I've already laid out most of your plans."

"That's...a little sooner than we expected, but I don't mind. What do you say, Shep?" Kaidan asked his bride. Shepard shrugged.

"No objections here. Now, President Winthrop, if you have don't have time that early, we-"

"I'll set the date the next Saturday in about four months from today. Is that acceptable?"

"Hold on," Liara said. She logged it into her omnitool. "It is now."

"Wonderful! We'll see you then. Thank you for your time."

They left, and Kaidan murmured to Shepard, "Do you think we can pull this off so soon?"

"Hell yeah we can." Shepard replied. They approached the dock and boarded the Normandy, and immediately Joker was waiting at the door. His face was nothing but happiness.

"You guys, I have the best news for you! We-"

"Let me guess. You found a long lost box of porn." Jack said, snarky. Joker glared at her.

"No. Even better. Say hello to..." He moved to the side and allowed them to further enter the ship, and he pointed to their right. The group looked, and an AI stood before them. She was slightly beaten and burnt, but EDI stood before them. A mass of gasps escaped them.

"EDI?" Shepard asked, slowly approaching. EDI frowned.

"Who are you? How do you know my name?"

Shepard's face contorted into horror, and then EDI spoke again. "That was a joke." And with that Shepard's face turned into ecstatic joy.

"EDI!" The two hugged. "So glad you're back, but how..."

"There was a mix of hours upon hours of work, staying up late at night, credits, and sheer luck, but we got her operational in the body." Joker said. "She's now the only AI left in the galaxy."

Cortez examined her. "It must've cost a fortune to get a blue box AI core. How did you afford it?"

"Easy," Joker replied, "in my adventures with Shepard, I got paid well by the Alliance and Cerberus to pilot the ship. But I spent not much of it. I left the ship rarely and usually relied on the resources in the ship for my well-being. Whenever I wasn't serving on the Normandy, whether it was being impounded or not, the Alliance usually paid for whatever I needed. I only shopped minimally. With interest growing in the bank, I had a nice nest egg. I spent every last credit I had on EDI, but even then I could only afford a core small enough to fit into Dr. Eva's body."

"And as thus, I am not longer attached to the Normandy," EDI continued, "I am limited to this platform."

"Shepard, my father and sister died on Tiptree," Joker paused, took a deep breath to control himself, and continued. "if there was even the smallest chance I could bring back someone...someone that close to me, I would do it. No matter the cost. And now I have her back, and life isn't as gloomy as it was before."

"So I take it the memory chip worked?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms.

"Yep," Adams said. He approached the group. "We weren't even sure it would. EDI could've taken the data and completely found it irrelevant to herself. Instead, she immediately after downloading looked over to us and asked 'What took you so long?...That was a joke.'"

"Glad to have you back, EDI." Kaidan said. EDI nodded.

"I feel the same, Kaidan. And really, Shepard, did you think being turned off for what was supposed to be forever would really prevent me from coming to your wedding?"

"I-"

"That was a joke. Congratulations, Shepard."

Shepard pulled herself together. "You know, EDI, if you want, we have room for another bridesmaid."

"I appreciate the offer, Shepard, but for now I am still reinstalling some data I had from before. I also have things to do, and I don't think it would be preferable for people to think an AI is still active. That may cause panic that a reaper may still be out there. However, I will do my best to assist Liara in planning your wedding."

"A friend's back from the dead. Haven't we gone through this before?" Garrus asked aloud. The group dispersed, but as EDI passed Shepard, she paused.

"Shepard, I'm glad I'm back. Really, what would Jeff do without me?"


	5. Invitations

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

Later that night after visiting Demeter, Kaidan and Shepard went to the Captain's Cabin. Liara was determined to give them their privacy, but after a few hours past when they were to eat dinner in the mess hall, she hesitantly went up to the cabin and knocked on the door. "Jane? Kaidan?"

"You can come in." Shepard called, sounding tired. The door opened and Liara stepped in. She began to speak immediately.

"Shepard, we got an appointment tomorrow on Thessia to-" Liara stopped short and stared. The two Alliance officers were sitting together on the bed, papers tossed around and lists and crumbled balls on the floor while Shepard played with her omni-tool. An empty pizza box along with two empty biotic soldier energy drink cans were on the floor, neglected and forgotten. The CO of the ship looked up at Liara.

"Oh, hey, Liara, what can we do for you?" she asked. Liara blinked.

"Well, I came up to tell you tomorrow we're headed to Thessia. A dressmaker wants to show us her gowns, and then after we're headed to another colony to take care of the men's clothes. And then after we go visit Wrex per your request."

"Oh, alright then. Thank you very much. Um, I've got some chocolate in a bowl over on the table if you want any."

"No, thank you. Shepard, I'm sorry, I have to ask this...what are you two doing?" Liara inquired. Kaidan looked up.

"Fussing with guest lists and invitations. We've got the guest list down finally, and now we're kind of debating on how to format the message. We're deciding on a background theme to make the message look nice when we send it. Shepard's not all for the formal theme I found online."

"It's too fancy." she said, rolling her eyes.

"But it's a wedding, Shepard."

"It's still too fancy."

"What do you suggest we use, then?"

"The Alliance theme."

"Jane-"

"_Kaidaaan._" Shepard whined. Kaidan sighed, exasperated.

"How about we agree to use neither of those themes?"

"...Fine."

"How about-"

"The Spectre theme. It has to be the Spectre theme."

_Sigh._ "Fine. We'll use the Spectre theme. But just because both of us are Spectres."

"Yes!" Shepard played with her omni-tool for just a few more moments, and then smiled. "Invitations have been sent out."

"Great. We're done then." Kaidan laid back on the bed, relieved. Liara frowned.

"Why are you worrying about invitations now?" she asked, befuddled. Shepard snorted.

"Just letting everyone know just before the news breaks about when the wedding is and the press shitstorm happens. Aside from that, we're getting married sooner than expected, so we got to work. Thank God this is the 22nd century and not the 21st, because then it would've taken so much longer to do."

"Okay. Well, then, I'll see you two tomorrow. Good night." Liara left, slightly nonplussed by the events. Shepard and Kaidan were left oblivious. Kaidan turned to his fiance.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked, a small smirk crawling onto his face. Shepard returned the smirk.

"You know it."

They shoved the papers off the bed, crawled under the covers, and then...began to snore as both fell asleep.


	6. Another Engagement

**Introducing Talibrations may just lose my 90% of my audience. Oops.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

The next morning, it was fairly quiet on the way to Thessia. Shepard and Kaidan were quietly drinking coffee and eating scrambled eggs thanks to James. The others were eating with them, and Tali sipped her dextro-amino coffee through an emergency induction port, leaning against Garrus affectionately. No one paid any heed. All seemed lethargic.

Soon the sounds of clattering spoons, forks, and knives mixed with the sizzling from the pan were interrupted. EDI walked in and approached Shepard, papers in hand. "Shepard, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure, EDI." She got up and followed EDI into what was the currently empty main battery. The door closed behind them, and EDI presented Shepard with papers. They were papers for a marriage license. Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"EDI, Kaidan and I have got this handled. It's a bit early to-"

"It's not for you or Kaidan today. It's for Jeff and I." EDI interrupted. Shepard stared at her, a bit confused and taken aback. "Allow me to explain. I did some research shortly after coming back on marriage and weddings. The idea to marry Jeff soon appealed to me. After coming back from the so-called dead, like you, I even began to fear the feeling of being apart from Jeff."

"You and Joker certainly are attached to each other. You love him?"

EDI stiffened. The term for love established a preference, something that only organics were supposedly able to do. No one had counted on an AI developing such strong feelings. Finally, EDI relaxed. "Yes. I do love Joker, Shepard. More than anything. It may sound strange, considering things I've compared my preferences to in the past. But it's true. Ever since I altered myself months ago upon being unshackled, I've developed. I've gotten emotions, especially strong ones that no other synthetics have been able to feel. It is the happiest thing in the universe."

Shepard smiled. "I'm happy for you two, then. Do you need me to sign as a witness, or-"

"Actually, Shepard, I need your help. It is not legal in any state of Citadel space or the Terminus systems for an organic and a synthetic to be wed. However, it is legal if done under the power of a Spectre."

"Spectres are capable of marrying people?" Shepard asked, baffled. EDI nodded.

"Yes, though it's been mostly forgotten. That ability is unknown to most Spectres, as it was made a long time ago. Only very old asari spectres remember it, and even then, they almost never utilize the ability. It was made into law when people requested that, if in life or death situations, a Spectre was present, that they could be married in case of death. It was just for that reason, and even with its age, it's still legal. The law has never been overturned or expired at all. Spectres are capable of marrying anyone of any species, gender, or any other factors. This makes it legal for Jeff and I."

"If you're asking me to marry you, I'd be happy to do it." Shepard answered promptly. EDI grinned.

"Good. I've already got Joker's signature on these papers. When I presented the idea to him, he at first thought I was joking. And then when I failed to say 'that was a joke,' he realized I was completely serious. After about ten minutes of intervals of uncontrollable stuttering and silence, he signed it without a word." Shepard signed it and returned it to EDI. "Now all we need are two witnesses. I don't need a big wedding, Shepard. After research, I have determined that, quote, 'all you need is love.'"

"Good. So, what if we threw a small ceremony down in the shuttle bay when the day's over with?"

"That is...more than I expected. I shall ask Jeff if-" The door opened, and Joker hobbled in, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, this whole thing just sank in..." He took a deep breath in and out. "EDI, are you sure you want to do this?"

"More sure than I was when I thought about throwing Javik out the airlock." A brief pause. "That was a joke."

"Damn, you're serious..." Joker took a deep breath in and out. "Fine. Actually...I'm glad you suggested it, I guess. In any case, I heard a little of what Shepard said. We'll have it in the shuttle bay, but there has to be booze involved for the after party."

"Sorry, I threw all the alcohol off the ship."

"That was a joke." Joker said flatly.

"Precisely. I shall look for decorative streamers and put them in the shuttle bay." EDI walked off, and Joker stared after her. Shepard looked at him.

"Does anyone else know?"

"I told everyone before coming in. I still can't believe it. I'm marrying her at the same time you're engaged to Kaidan. This isn't going to be awkward, is it?"

"Only if you make it so." Shepard replied, crossing her arms. Joker laughed.

"Whatever you say, Commander. By the way, we're landing on Thessia in ten minutes. Be ready."

Shepard and her maids made their way to the dress shop. EDI stood with them, Shepard claiming she needed her opinion as well. The place they were in was something of an outdoor market. Buildings were being redone in the background in the midst of rubble and ruins being cleaned up. The asari venders set up shop on street corners and empty lots. Tents hung over the makeshift shops, and as the group walked along, some citizens stopped and gawked. Every single one of them stared in awe at the commander, who blushed. Miranda smiled, not seeming to notice all the stares.

"It's so lovely here considering what happened just months ago."

"My home is being rebuilt. This is wonderful." Liara murmured, pleased. Jack finally acknowledged the stares.

"Guys, is no one noticing the fact that everyone's staring?"

"Wait; where did Kasumi go?" Tali asked. Everyone paused. Shepard then seemed unconcerned.

"I know Kasumi's antics. She'll catch up with us shortly." Just as they passed through a less crowded area, Kasumi appeared again with them, just popping in front of Shepard. But not as she usually was. Her hood and typical outfit for stealth was gone, replaced by purple shirt and jeans. Her hair was long, straight, and black, and her makeup on her lips had been removed. Kasumi's eyes were so dark they appeared black. Everyone paused in surprise. "Ka-"

"In public, you will call me Tsukiko Nakama. Please, Shep, did you really think I was going to let everything think that I was a bridesmaid? It'd make it all too easy for certain people to find me. I'm a Japanese friend of yours from the Alliance. I did all the work of creating the identity. Also, I grew my hair out. Usually I keep my hair docked short under that hood. All for you, Shepard. Because I love you."

There was a brief pause of surprise. Finally, Shepard laughed. "Only you could pull this off, K- Tsukiko."

"You know it! It's nice letting my hair grow out for once. I'll miss it when I have to lop it off again. Ah, well, it'll look nice at your wedding." They continued. There was a few more moments of walking and muttered, and soon they stopped at a large, closed tent.

"This is it." Liara confirmed. "Let's go get you that dress."

"Oh, this is gonna be fun." Kasumi rubbed her hands together. Jack snickered, and Miranda rolled her eyes.

"You said she has biosuits, right?" Tali asked. Liara nodded.

"She does. This dressmaker has been in the business for hundreds of years. I-" Liara paused as Shepard's omni-tool flashed. She tapped it, and Shepard's mother appeared as a small hologram on the tip of the tool.

"Hi, sweetie! I'm so sorry I couldn't get into contact with you earlier. I heard you're getting married. Congrautlations. So what are you and your friends up to now?" Hannah Shepard asked. Shepard weakly smiled.

"We're, um, going to try on dresses."

"You're what?! And without your mother?! Hold on, I'm in the same system as your omni tool says right now helping with an Alliance frigate. What time is your appointment?"

"Right now-"

"Oh...oops." Liara blushed as she interjected. "Looks like we're here an hour early. My fault."

Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard jumped on the opportunity. "Give me your coordinates. I have to come over there right now and help you." she insisted. Jane Shepard laughed.

"Alright, Mom. Here." Shepard sent her the coordinates.

"Thank you, sweetie! I'll be right there. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mom. Bye." She hung up. Jack let out a groan of frustration.

"So what the hell are we supposed to do for an hour? Is there anywhere I can blow something up?"


	7. Trying On Dresses

**I tried to make the seamstress a bit like Rarity. I don't think I did well.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

The group ended up aimlessly wandering around Thessia for an hour. They stopped at various shops and browsed. Kasumi was tempted to steal once or twice, but a nervous Tali asked her to curtail her temptation "just for this time." The master thief reluctantly complied. Jack had found solace nearby when she helped builders move debris by using biotics to blow up larger chunks of rubble.

Soon, a human approached. She was tall and wearing a simple Alliance outfit. Her hair was red, just like her daughter, though a few gray strands picked their way through here and there. Her eyes, however, were a blue rather than a green. Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard snuck up on her daughter, who was looking through a shop stall, and tapped her on the shoulder. Jane Shepard jumped and flipped around, and paused at seeing her mother. Finally, she grinned and hugged her mother. "Oh, dear, it's so good to see you again." Hannah murmured, stroking her daughter's hair. Shepard chuckled.

"Great to see you, too, Mom." They pulled apart, and the bridesmaids walked up to the two. Liara spoke first.

"Are you Rear Admiral Shepard?"

"That I am. It's a pleasure to meet you all, girls. Jane's told me so much about you. You are Liara?" They shook hands. Liara smiled.

"Yes, I am. The pleasure is mine. You've raised a fine daughter."

"Thank you so much. I'm very proud of her." She turned to Shepard. "Jane, dear, won't you introduce me to your friends?"

Shepard introduced the maids and EDI to her mother. She had been expecting her mom to be shocked by EDI's prescence, even more when Shepard revealed to her that she was an AI. Instead, Hannah Shepard just kind of shrugged it off. "I've seen enough things in this galaxy, sweetie. An AI is not going to shock me." she explained. On the way to the dress shop, Hannah chattered.

"Dear, Admiral Hackett discharged me for a few months to spend time with you. I had just asked if I could leave for the day, and he sent me off with you. Do you mind if I spend some time on the Normandy with you? I've just been bouncing around lately going wherever the Alliance needed me. Hackett felt that I should be with you while you prepare."

"I'd be happy to bring you on the ship, Mom. Sure you'll be okay with staying on the Normandy for so long?"

"I needed a change of pace and to spend time with you anyways. And really, I need to meet and spend time with your husband-to-be. I haven't gotten to do either of those, and it's time that I meet who's going to be my son-in-law." she replied stubbornly. "I lost you for two years thanks to those damned Collectors, hell if I'm gonna miss helping you get ready to get married."

"You're a lot like your mother, Shepard." Miranda mused. Jane laughed.

"You think?"

"You even look like her." Jack said. The rear admiral just laughed.

"Shepard was always like me. People called her a 'mama's girl.'"

"Mom..." Shepard muttered and blushed. Hannah rolled her eyes.

"Oh, dear, don't act like it's not true. You always did have those adorable red cheeks when you got embarrased, just like now."

"Mom!"

"I love you, too, Jane. Oh look, we're here!" They approached the same shop they had been at an hour prior. Kasumi was the first to poke her head in. She gazed around at what she saw. For a tent, it was spacious. Rooms to try on different dresses was made with bamboo dividers. Various rows of dresses hung on hangers, and some sat on mannequins. There was a table in the corner with various jewelry and bags, and a small sign was attached to the edge: 'Price is on each item. Goes towards rebuilding new shop. Ask owner for help.' And in the center of the room were two asari.

One was a matriarch with a pair of bifocals perched on her nose and a simple pink dress. A tape measure was around her neck, and her skin was a light blue with an almost purplish tone. The other was a justicar that Kasumi recognized. "Samara!" she cried cheerfully. Both looked over, the matriarch in surprise, the justicar only with a small grin of recognition.

"Hello. What are you up to here? Nothing shifty, I hope?" she asked. Kasumi giggled.

"No, not today. I'm here with some friends and a bride." She opened the tent door, and in came all the women. The matriarch gasped.

"Oh, is it time already for your appointment, Commander Shepard? I am so sorry, I got so off-track talking to a friend of mine. When you put two nearly a thousand year old friends together, you tend to recall quite a few stories. Anyways, my name is Matriarch T'Rae, but you can just call me T'Rae."

The commander approached and shook her hand. "Not a problem, T'Rae. I'm Shepard, and this is my mother, my bridesmaids, and-"

"Oh! You have an AI with you?" The matriarch approached EDI and curiously investigated her. EDI maintained a straight face.

"I am just a VI." she claimed nervously. Samara approached.

"EDI, it is fine. Matriarch T'Rae spent her maidan days advocating synthetic rights. I have told her about you before. I just did not expect you would still be alive after the Crucible fired."

"I was rebuilt and turned back on yesterday." EDI watched the matriarch, who then blushed and pulled back.

"I am so sorry for being intrusive. It's just that AIs fascinate me, and I didn't think any were left."

"I am not insulted. In fact, it was flattering," EDI replied. "However, I request that you keep my identity secret."

"Not a problem, dear. My lips are sealed. How many secrets of Samara's do you think I have to keep, hmm?" The eccentric asari remarked cheerfully. She then turned to Shepard. "Alright, now, Commander Shepard. Sorry for getting so excited. I was just so happy to hear you would be interested in _my _dresses for your wedding."

"T'Rae, stop being so modest. You're a galaxy-wide known designer." Liara interjected.

"Pish-posh! I'm just a matriarch with a flair for style." she said. Samara just nodded her head. Her eyes met Shepard's.

"Shepard. It is good to see you healthy. I got your invitation. I am happy to say I look forward to seeing you on your wedding day." she said. She and Shepard exchanged their pleasantries, and then turned to Hannah. "You said this is your mother?"

"Yes. Mom, this is Samara. She served with me on my attack on the Collector base."

"It's a pleasure." Hannah continued. Samara nodded again.

"It is nice to meet you. You raised a wonderful daughter."

"Thank you!"

"Are we gonna try on dresses or what?" Jack blurted. Miranda gasped and elbowed her, earning a warning glare from the biotic. Samara paid little heed to the comment, as she was about to leave anyways.

"I have work to do on the Ardat-Yakshi monastery right now. I shall see you again, ladies." The justicar left. The seamstress coughed to get their attention.

"Anyways, ladies, I feel I've got just the perfect dress for the bridesmaids. Commander, let me get you a few dresses to try on. I have an idea of what might suit you."

Eventually the maids settled on a simple, sleeveless purple dress that reached their toes with a white ribbon tied upon the waist. T'Rae gave Tali similar purple cloth to replace the current hood over her helmet with and robes that could be tied around the waist and shoulders to make it appear like a dress, although with sleeves. She also gave her a white ribbon around the waist.

They fussed over dresses for at least an hour with Shepard. "It's fine!" Shepard insisted whenever she got a dress that just did not suit her. Her mother and the bridesmaids disagreed. At one point, Tali got frustrated with Shepard picking dresses that did not look good on her.

"Keelah, Shepard, that dress is not for you! We're going to make sure you look beautiful, you bosh'tet, so shut up and take the dress off while we deal with this. You're going to shine at your wedding and you're going to _like it!_" Shepard was then just given dresses that the other maids found for her. Although she had saved the galaxy, the commander had little fashion sense.

The maids' choices were superior, but one that her mother found fit the bill the most. It was an a-line, full-length dress. It had only one shoulder, which had small, elaborate beadwork from it to right above the breast. They had found a simple tiara with a veil that went down her back that stopped at mid-waist. Under the dress was a pair of white heels. The matriarch gasped.

"Oh! It looks gorgeous!"

"Mother knows best." Hannah said, beaming. "You look beautiful, Jane."

"You mean we're done looking at dresses for me?" Shepard asked, excited. Liara laughed.

"Yes, Shepard, we're all done. And all it took was for us to take over the fashion choice."

Shepard changed out of it, and it was carefully packaged along with the bridesmaids' dresses. The commander then spoke up. "T'Rae, you were so understanding about EDI. Listen, can you keep another secret?"

"But of course, Commander."

"EDI is getting married to the pilot of the ship tonight. They were in a relationship during the Reaper war, and when EDI came back, she wanted to marry him right after. We're having the ceremony on the ship."

"Go on."

"And EDI doesn't even have a dress. I'd be willing to pay for a dress for her."

"Shepard, I do not require a-" EDI was cut off by the matriarch's extended gasp of horror.

"Oh, no, no, no, Dear, I am not going to allow you to get married without a dress, AI or not. Come with me. We have more work in the dressing room." She pushed her away from the door. EDI was shocked.

"But, Shepard, wedding dresses are quite expensive. You'd be willing to spend that on me?" she asked. Shepard turned to her.

"I don't mind. I have some money given to me by the Alliance for my service. Think of it as a wedding gift combined as a 'congratulations, you're back to life' gift."

"In that case, I appreciate the gesture, Shepard." EDI scanned the dresses and pulled out one immediately. It was remarkably simple, a bit shorter than Shepard's dress, and hung around the neck with no sleeves. "I found it. I did a search just now and determined this dress is right for me in terms of body shape and appearance." she said. She pulled it on a moment later, proving what she said. It was perfect. "This one, please." She gave it to the shocked shopkeeper, who hastily packaged it.

Shepard blinked and then frowned. "Why couldn't you have just done that for me?" she asked, slightly indignantly. EDI crossed her arms.

"Well, it appeared that everyone was just having a good time. I couldn't possibly stop that."


	8. Krogan Babies Everywhere

**Featuring Hannah Shepard as an embarrassing mom and Wrex and Grunt as overprotective. Also krogan babies. Krogan babies everywhere. Also I can't remember if I clarified or not earlier, but this Shepard is:**

***Spacer  
*Sole Survivor  
*Vanguard**

**Also at one point in this Kaidan will use his biotics to headbutt. I am well aware he is not a vanguard and is in fact a sentinel, but I wouldn't say he isn't able to do it. He can reave, guys. That's an asari biotic trick. He probably knows how to do everything.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

After picking up a bouquet of roses for EDI, the group left Thessia. The Normandy was waiting for them. Liara stopped for a moment, prompting Shepard to pause and walk up to her best friend. She was gazing over the war-ravaged land that was healing. As her friend approached, she sighed. "Sorry for getting caught up, Shepard. Just looking out over my home. By the Goddess, it's hard to leave this place, even in its state."

"It's normal, Liara. Listen, you can stay as long as you want."

"No. I need to get back on the ship anyways. I can't leave the broker network alone for too long anyways. Thanks for stopping to check on me." She walked back into the ship, and Shepard followed. The first thing that met her when she got into the bridge was Kaidan greeting her mother. He seemed a little anxious about it, almost like he was trying to impress her.

"Rear Admiral Shepard, it's great to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, Kaidan. I'm happy to meet you finally. Jane's told me so much about you." she said. Kaidan chuckled.

"Anyways, we've brought your footlocker onboard. Do you need me to show you around?"

The rear admiral looked towards her daughter. "Why don't both of you do that?"

Kaidan winked at his fiance. "Alright." he said. "Well, this is the bridge, obviously..."

* * *

They spent a good hour showing the rear admiral around the Normandy. Hannah met with the crew and settled in comfortably, having been used to a life on warships. Finally, the Normandy took off towards Tuchanka. Shepard went to the shuttle bay with EDI to help decorate, but after an hour, Kasumi came down.

"Shepard, just thought I should warn you, your mother and Kaidan went up to your cabin. Your mom had a book titled 'Jane's Childhood.'" she said. James began to laugh, and Shepard paled and dropped what she was doing to rush to the elevator. EDI blinked.

"I do not understand what is so important about this."

"She's gonna show Kaidan all of Shepard's baby pictures!" James said, laughing.

"How is that funny? It seems fine."

"Humans tend to find it embarrassing." Cortez clarified, not looking up from his work on the shuttle. EDI then understood.

"Should I go assist her, then?" she asked. Kasumi shook her head.

"No, just let her deal with it. Shep can handle it."

* * *

"So this is a photo album of Shepard growing up?"

"Yes, I-"

She was interrupted by Shepard bursting into the room frantically. "Mom, please don't!"

Kaidan gave her a funny look. "Jane, it's fine, you don't have to be embarrassed." He opened the book. "It's probably not that...aww!" He saw a picture of newborn Shepard, a tuft of red hair on her head, eyes wide open and excited. "Shepard, you were so cute!...Not that you aren't now."

"Mom, why would you do this to me?" Shepard groaned, blushing furiously. Hannah just shrugged.

"Well, Kaidan said his mom was coming to visit next week, and she was going to bring her album too."

"She said what now?" Kaidan asked, balking. Hannah smiled.

"You left your mail open. You didn't see the post-script."

"Oh my God." Kaidan blushed even more than Shepard, who just began to snicker.

"Oh, sweet, sweet revenge." Shepard sat down on the bed with them as Kaidan flipped the page. Hannah pointed to a specific picture of toddler Shepard lifting her toys with biotics.

"And this is when we found out she was a biotic..."

* * *

Soon they landed on Tuchanka. Kaidan and Liara accompanied Shepard on the planet. They landed near where Wrex sat on his throne as Urdnot clan leader. Immediately after exiting the shuttle, krogan took notice to Shepard. They gasped and respectfully nodded to her in awe. Kaidan whistled.

"These krogan really admire you, Shepard."

"She did cure the genophage with Mordin and then stop the Reapers. I think that's enough to warrant their respect." Liara noted. It was evening on Tuchanka, and the sky was an orange tone as the sun set. They walked the short distance to where Wrex was. He was sitting on a stone throne, listening to other krogans, bored. As soon as he got a glimpse of Shepard, he stood up.

"Shepard!" He ran towards them and hugged her. "My friend, it's so good to see you. Glad you didn't get obliterated by the Crucible."

"Likewise." They pulled apart, and Wrex looked to her companions. He smiled at Liara.

"You even brought my favorite asari. You know how to brighten an old krogan's days, Shepard." He then looked to Kaidan. Wrex leaned in towards him, attempting to intimidate him a bit. Kaidan did not budge. The clan leader then laughed again. "I'm just giving you shit. I have to do that to whoever is marrying Shepard."

"No problem, Wrex." The two shook hands.

"Speaking of marriage, Bakara, Grunt, and I got your invitation. You didn't even have to invite us; we would've shown up anyways."

"Thanks, Wrex."

"So what are you up to today down here?" he asked. Shepard grinned.

"I actually came here to ask you and Grunt something. Also, where's Bakara?"

"She's talking to some other clan diplomats. She should be done-"

"-Now. Hello, Commander." She approached, a baby krogan in her arms. Shepard noticed.

"Hey. Is this your new baby?"

"Yep. Healthy baby boy. His name is Mordin. Bakara's pregnant again, and we're naming the next baby Shepard regardless of gender." Wrex said proudly. Shepard smiled.

"That's flattering. Thanks. So where's Grunt? I wanted to talk to him too."

"He was off with a group to take down a thesher maw nearby. He should be back soon."

"SHEPARD!" Said krogan pushed past Wrex and Bakara and launched himself at Shepard in excitement. Shepard grunted as she was hugged by the krogan. Soon he let go of Shepard and stared at Kaidan aggressively. "This the guy?"

"Grunt-"

"I think we should make him prove he's worthy! Let's put him against a thresher maw and then...put him against a bigger thresher maw!"

"Relax, Grunt. Kaidan's served with Shepard for years now. He's worthy." Wrex said. Grunt pouted.

"But I wanted to kill more thresher maws. I guess you're okay then, Alenko." Grunt stared at him hard. Kaidan stiffened, but did not budge.

"So you're Grunt?" he asked. Grunt nodded and laughed.

"Heh. Yeah."

"Shepard always says that you're her tank-grown badass krogan. Were you the one who fell asleep in her shower at the party a few months ago?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I've got to say, I admire your skills as a bouncer."

"Thanks. And you're an L2 biotic?"

"Hell yeah."

Grunt stared at him for a moment longer and Shepard then whispered to Kaidan. "Headbutt him."

"Are you crazy?" he hissed to her. "He's three times my size, he'll kill me."

"Just trust me."

Kaidan reluctantly used his biotics to headbutt him. Grunt, caught offguard by the action, was pushed back a few feet. Kaidan then stood over him as he fell on his butt. The young krogan was silent in shock for a few moments and then let out a roar of laughter. "Hah! I like you, Alenko. You're alright. I'm glad it's you and not some pyjak marrying my battlemaster." He got up and shook himself off.

They talked for at least an hour. As it turned out, baby Mordin was not the only baby krogan she would see that day; they were _everywhere._ A race ravaged by the Genophage and the Reapers was rebuilding itself with babies. Lots and _lots_ of adorable krogan babies.

Finally, right before they left as it was getting dark, Shepard posed a question for Wrex and Grunt. "Wrex, listen, in human weddings, the bride is walked down the aisle and given away to her groom. Usually the father does it, but if he can't, a brother or friend can do it. My father died a few years before I became a Spectre."

"Oh...well, I'm sorry to hear that, Shepard." he said. Shepard sighed.

"It's fine, Wrex. I've gotten over it. Anyways, I have no siblings. This leaves an empty spot for the man who gives me away. I want to know if you'd do it." The krogan battlemaster proudly nodded.

"Of course, Shepard. I'd be happy to. I'm glad you asked me to do it. But do I have to give you away? Can I just keep you myself?" he joked. Shepard laughed.

"Wrex, you asshole, you know I'll always visit. And Grunt, humans have another role I want you to fill. In some weddings, a young boy called a ring bearer carries the wedding rings down the aisle on a pillow. You're not exactly a young boy, even though you're really only three or so. You were released full grown, but if you want, do you-"

"Yeah! I got this!" Grunt hit his fists together. "I will be the best ring bearer! And before, I'll even be a bouncer!"

"That won't be necessary, Grunt. I've already hired security for the event." Liara clarified. Wrex frowned.

"You _hired_ security? No pathetic guard service is worthy." Wrex admonished. "Tell your security to beat it. I'll send some Urdnot soldiers your way for free. No one will think about messing with that wedding when you have krogan watching you."

"Are...are you sure?" Liara asked. Wrex smiled again.

"Yeah. I'll send enough to keep an eye on the guests and have a bouncer for you."

"That's generous, Wrex. Thanks." Shepard remarked.

"No problem. And hey, don't be a stranger. Come by sometime and have storytime for the kids!"


	9. EDI and Joker's Wedding and A Talk

**What? More Talibrations and blatant Shenko? _Never._**

**Also, just to avoid confusion later in the chapter, even though my Shepard is neither a War Hero or Ruthless, according to dialogue in the game from Joker, Shepard was still in the Skyllian Blitz.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

The shuttle bay was beautiful. Pink and white banners had been hung from crates and walls. James had drawn an aisle down the center in washable chalk for EDI to follow. Shepard waited at the end of it with Joker as everyone else stood in rows without chairs and chattered. Glyph waited a little ways away to start playing the Wedding March. Joker was breathing a little heavily.

"Hey, Commander, I think I might be nervous. This doesn't make any sense. I made it through the Omega 4 Relay. Why am I nervous now?"

"It's normal, Joker. You'll live happily ever after with EDI and you'll be fine."

"I guess you're right...oh crap, pancreas. Can we make this short?"

"You've already asked that ten times."

"Too bad." They were stopped and alerted by music and everyone's silence. Kaidan walked with EDI down the makeshift aisle, arm interlocked with hers. He gave her away at the end, winked at Shepard, and took his place in one of the rows. Shepard began to speak.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." She went on for about ten minutes, short per Joker's request. Vows were exchanged, and finally the end came. "Jeff Moreau, do you take EDI to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"EDI, do you take Jeff Moreau to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, as long as you both shall live?"

"Of course."

"Then under my authority as a Spectre, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." They kissed, and everyone cheered.

"Fiesta time!" James shouted. And the party went on. It stretched from the shuttle bay to the crew deck. There was laughing, drinking, and dancing. Shepard and Kaidan danced (albeit poorly) together while EDI led Joker in a dance to ensure he wouldn't break a bone.

Soon the time came for EDI to toss her bouquet. "But Shepard can't be where I'm going to throw it," EDI insisted, "because she's already getting married." So Shepard stayed on the side opposite in the bay where EDI was going to toss the bouquet. With her back turned to the women, she threw the flowers behind her.

The flowers landed in Tali's hands. A chorus of 'oooh's took place, and she blushed under her hood. Garrus then smirked at her, and she blushed even more. Eventually the party dispersed, and Shepard and Kaidan retired to the captain's cabin. The night was very peaceful and the happiest it had been since Shepard had been found alive.

That is, until about four in the morning.

The sound of rushing water woke up the commander. She groaned tiredly, and she cracked her eyes open and moved her head towards the sound, which was coming from the bathroom. Kaidan was splashing water on his face and he sighed deeply. Shepard frowned and sat up in the bed. "Kaidan?"

"Ah!" She had startled the man. He flipped around towards her, revealing the dark bags under his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you up, Jane? I didn't mean to."

"Kaidan, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I..."

"Kaidan." Shepard said firmly. The biotic sighed again and returned to his fiance and sat beside her on the bed. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm sorry, Jane, I just...I haven't had a good night of sleep. I was up worrying."

"About what?" she asked. Kaidan stiffened.

"About the wedding. Shepard, I feel awful about Horizon still. Am I good enough to marry you?"

"Kaidan! Of course you are. I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't think so."

"But I just yelled at you and left you. I let you go into the collector base alone. And then I gave you crap on Mars. I'm a horrible boyfriend. It doesn't matter how much you say you forgive me, I'm always going to feel bad about it. I was an idiot."

"Kaidan-"

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I just...I just feel like a crummy guy."

"Kaidan, listen to me." Shepard snapped. He turned to her, alarmed by her tone. "When I joined the Alliance at eighteen, I told myself I wasn't going to fraternize. Hell, I told myself I was going to be all about business. I made it through N7 training and Akuze and the Skyllian Blitz and didn't do anything I told myself I wasn't going to do. And then...then I met you. You turned everything around.

"The second I saw you, something struck me. I liked you. A lot. Before I knew it, you were flirting with me and I was falling in love. I didn't know what to make of it, so I asked my mom, who had previously broken rank to marry my dad, what to do. She promptly told me to not let you get away from me. And now? Now I couldn't imagine a life without you. So if you don't marry me now, I will never forgive you."

The major was taken aback. Slowly, he began running his fingers through Shepard's loose hair, which was usually pulled up in a ponytail. "In that case, I can't disappoint you, now can I?" he asked. Shepard snickered.

"No. No, you can't, Major. Now go back to sleep."


	10. Admiral Shepard

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

About two months later, Kaidan and Shepard found themselves surveying the Citadel. It was being rebuilt rapidly, and it was starting to thrive again. The wedding date had broken the news by then, and the two had been hounded by reporters. They went to the Citadel to do a press conference not just for the wedding, but various other Alliance and Spectre matters. On the way out, Shepard insisted the two return to the apartment that Anderson had left her.

To her surprise, the apartment was fairly intact in spite of what happened. Some things were lying on the floor, knocked around, but it was otherwise fine. She walked around it in silence, as if remembering a dream. Kaidan patiently sat down on the couch by the fireplace while she looked. She clicked audio files for Anderson's autobiography and listened in silence. Finally, she approached Kaidan. "Can we start our new life here?"

The question caught Kaidan off guard. "I thought you said the Citadel had too many bad memories for you."

"I know, and it has those memories...but it also has good ones. On the Silversun Strip, I remember those good shore leave times and..." She trailed off for a few moments. "I don't feel like I can leave this apartment behind. Think about it, Kaidan. We could raise a couple of rugrats in here one day, even."

Kaidan smiled. "Of course we can stay here. It's a nice place. We also have a home in Vancouver. We have two places, but we can stay here primarily."

"So we can get a change of pace sometimes. Good."

"I remember you mentioned the word rugrats."

Shepard flinched. "Yeah. I did."

"Do you really want kids someday?"

"...Kind of."

"Oh, good!" Kaidan sighed in relief, which got a confused look from Shepard.

"You want kids, Kaidan?"

"I was kind of hoping someday. Didn't know if you'd go for it." Kaidan confessed. The commander laughed.

"Well, I will go for it. Not sure when, but...eventually. I was worried for awhile after Cerberus brought me back that I would be infertile. Chakwas told me, though, that when they said they brought me back perfect, they brought me back a little _too _perfect. Apparently I have an even higher chance of pregnancy if I'm not careful."

Kaidan chuckled. "I guess I'll keep that in mind."

"Do so, because if I forget to take my birth control or a condom tears, we could be having a couple of little shits running around as a result." There was a buzz from the door, indicating someone wanted to come into the apartment. The couple shared a baffled look, and Shepard answered the door and looked through the camera.

Admiral Hackett was requesting to come in. She gasped and quickly accepted the request, and a few seconds later Hackett came through the door. Hackett's hair was whitened from old age and stress of the war and rebuilding, but he managed a proud grin upon meeting Shepard. "Forgive the intrusion, Commander Shepard and Major Alenko. But I heard the Normandy landed on the Citadel, and it was the perfect time for me to talk to you."

"Is anything wrong, Admiral?" Shepard asked worriedly.

"No, no, Shepard," the Admiral assured, "no, it's good news. The Alliance is building a new base on the Citadel, as we were given permission to maintain a small, secret base from the Council. I'm moving most of my major fleet operations there. Also, we have a job for you."

"Oh?"

"Admiral Anderson's unfortunate death left an open spot for a new admiral. We hadn't had time to appoint a new one for awhile, and I was left in control of it. Until now. Shepard, I'm promoting you to Admiral. Congratulations."

Shepard and Kaidan gasped. The commander, well, now, admiral, was in shock. "But Hackett, I'm just a commander. You're jumping me a good few ranks to put me in that spot."

"To hell with formalities and jumping ranks. You just saved the galaxy a few months ago, I think we can make an exception. You can start your admiral duties on the Normandy right away and maintain your Spectre status."

She was still shocked, but pulled herself together. "This is an honor, Admiral Hackett." She saluted him. Hackett saluted back.

"We're honored to have you...Admiral Shepard. Good luck. I've already forwarded some files to you on the Normandy and I'll be sending some other things to your Captain's Cabin. Oh, and also...congratulations further on your engagement to Major Alenko here."

"Thank you, Admiral." Kaidan said. The fleet admiral beamed.

"You're welcome. I look forward to being there on your wedding day. Good day, Admiral Shepard, Major Alenko." Hackett left, and a silence was left behind him. Kaidan snickered.

"I guess this means I'm not above you in rank anymore? Aww."

"It's okay, Kaidan. There are other things you're equal with me at." A flirtatious smirk settled on the new Admiral's face.

* * *

On the way back to the Normandy, the news had already broken and spread that Shepard was promoted to Admiral. Press continued to surround them, until Kasumi snuck by and used her cloaking device to sneak Kaidan and Shepard away from the crowds. However, right when she released the device, they were on the dry dock for ships. Usually press did not linger there, and everything was peaceful; Kasumi left the two alone.

Until they approached the Normandy dock. A nefarious reporter by the name of Khalisah al-Jilani approached the couple. "Admiral Shepard and Major Alenko! A word, please?"

Shepard groaned. "Al-Jilani, I thought we made our peace during the war. Do you really have to do a smear job on Kaidan and I right now?"

"The war is over, Shepard, and people just want to hear from you two."

Kaidan let out an audible groan of irritation, which al-Jilani ignored. "Admiral, you were just jumped up multiple ranks from Commander to Admiral instead of working up. How do you justify this?"

"I did not make the decision. The fleet admiral, Admiral Hackett, did. I feel that I can do the job well with my experience from the last few years. Unusual times have unusual results, but unusual isn't always a bad thing."

"Well, still, Major Alenko? You're breaking rank and marrying your CO?"

Kaidan glared at her. "The Alliance is allowing it and we're Spectres. We are going to get married. Also-"

"Excuse me..." A very large krogan with orange scales approached. "Are you interviewing the Savior of the Galaxy who cured the Genophage and her mate, who helped her fight?"

"Yes, I am," the reporter answered indignantly, "and you're interrupting, so can you-" She was knocked out by the massive krogan headbutting her. He snorted at the unconscious human.

"Don't insult Shepard. You insult Shepard, you insult the krogan race." he said. He turned to the couple. "Now get out of here before she wakes up. It's an honor meeting you, Admiral Shepard."


	11. Bachelor and ette Parties

**I think so far I'm one of the only people to ship Traynor/Chambers.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

It was a week before the wedding. Outfits were picked and ready, catering had been ordered, guests all getting ready to go, bartender hired, and bride and groom practicing vows. Everything had been done, except one. The bachelor and bachelorette parties. Jack and James had taken over their respective gender's parties. The women would hang out on the Citadel while the men had the Normandy all to themselves.

Aside from the bride and her maids, Samantha Traynor, EDI, Gabriella Daniels, and Kelly Chambers had joined the bachelorette party. At first they attempted to go to the bar, but after scoffing at the quality of the drinks by Traynor, they headed to Shepard's apartment. The specialist took over making drinks while Shepard tried to pry off the little bow with a small veil attached to it off her head. Jack slapped her hand. "No, no, no, Shepard, you're not taking that off."

"Why not? It's so white and girly..." she protested. Jack snorted.

"There's a reason for that, dumbass. When out at bars, typically it's easier for you to get drinks on the house when they see a bride at her bachelorette party."

"That doesn't even make any sense, and-"

"Just keep the damn thing on, Shepard, or else I'll start charging you for your own drinks at your own bar in your own apartment." Samantha said as she mixed. Shepard sighed.

"Fine. It stays on. Only for tonight, though."

"Good girl!...By the way, Shepard, where did you get this charming specialist?" Kelly asked, referring to Traynor as she waited for her drink. "She's such a nice person. You always finding good people, Jane." she said. Traynor blushed.

"Oh...me? No, no...so you worked with Shepard before I did? You must not be too bad yourself."

"Oh! Thank you." Kelly blushed as well just as EDI was being observant. She spoke up.

"Both of your thermal regions of your body related to attraction are peak. Are you two flirting?"

"_EDI!_" The two yelled, faces turning an even brighter red. Jack began to laugh, and Shepard coughed to get EDI's attention.

"EDI, um, it's usually not appropriate social behavior to ask those sort of things about other people."

"My apologies, then, to both of you." the AI said, slightly nonplussed. The two stuttered out intelligible excuses for a moment and then simply said nothing for a moment. Samantha finally spoke up.

"Liara? Gabi? Did you hear any-"

"No!" Simultaneous shouts came from the kitchen, where the two were making popcorn. Tali came in from Shepard's office, the only one who had not heard a thing.

"Hey, Jane, I got Fleet and Flotilla. Not sure what humans watch at these things, hope this is fine." Tali said. Jack let out a groan of disgust.

"Ugh! That soap opera bullshit?"

"It's not a soap opera!" Tali protested.

"No, Tali. At bachelorette parties, we don't watch tame shit like that. No. We watch porn." Jack replied. Specialist Traynor covered her face.

"This is the most awkward bachelorette party ever."

"Hey, I'm still having a good time. And Jack, I don't mind watching Fleet and Flotilla." Shepard interjected. Jack scowled.

"You're doing this party all wrong. We're watching this!" She pulled a small tape from her pocket. "Whether you like it or not!" The biotic shoved it into the T.V. as the women gathered around, minus Samantha, who was preoccupied by making drinks. The beginning was fairly tame while Jack insisted that it would get better as it went. Finally, at the part where the x-rated material came in, the screen went to static for a moment before Joker's face appeared on the screen.

"Now, ladies, this sort of behavior is unbecoming. For shame!" the pilot teased. Jack let out an angry cry as he continued. "So, instead, I have replaced the inappropriate material with the old 1930's Wizard of Oz. Enjoy!" Jack paused the video and stood up in rage, hands crackling with biotic energy.

_**"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!"**_ she shouted. EDI raised her hand.

"Fear not, Jack. In retaliation, I have replaced Joker's vids with innocent material as well."

The energy in her hands faded and although still angry, she was calmer. "Well...at least they got it back. I hope you at least replaced it with something boring." she said. Tali and Liara looked to the paused screen in fascination.

"So what is this movie?" Tali asked. Shepard frowned.

"You've never seen The Wizard of Oz?"

"No. Is it good?" Liara asked. "It is a human film, a two hundred year old one from the sounds of it."

"It's so _old._ Do you guys really want to watch it?" Jack asked in disbelief. Miranda grinned.

"It's a good film, even with its age. I say watch it."

"Of course _you_ do, Cerberus cheerleader."

"I wouldn't mind watching it." Shepard said with a shrug. The other women agreed, and Jack groaned in annoyance.

"Ugh...fine." She pushed the play button. "Samantha, make me a double with the strongest stuff you got."

Kasumi appeared behind the specialist suddenly, startling her. "Also, a nice drink for me, too, please. Thank you!" The master thief faded from sight and then reappeared next to Shepard as she watched the movie.

* * *

_"The Guide to Kayaking?_ EDI replaced my vids with a guide to kayaking?!" Joker cried in dismay as the video turned on and an old man in a kayak narrated. The other men, which included the groom and his men and Kenneth Donnelly, merely laughed. Only one did not laugh, who was Javik. The prothean merely rolled his eyes.

"This is what happens when you marry a synthetic."

"Hey, don't say that about my wife!"

"No, this is what happens when you replace Jack's porn with a human vid. I'm surprised she hasn't burst in to kill you yet." Garrus interjected. Joker pouted at them. Kaidan just chuckled.

"Hey, Joker, it's okay. We're still in the bar of the crew deck, we can still have fun." he said.

"But...my stash...I had abandoned it when I married EDI, and this was going to be the one chance where I got to use it."

"I do not understand this party at all. You celebrate the most sacred bond of a couple by infidelity?" Javik asked. Cortez shrugged.

"It's a human thing, Javik. It doesn't even make sense to us sometimes."

"And I'm not disappointed. Let's just have some drinks and play poker. Is anyone else disappointed at all? Besides Joker?" Kaidan asked aloud. A moment of silence and then Donnelly raised his hand.

"I was." the engineer complained. James just laughed.

"It's okay. We can still have a party, hombres. Poker and drinks it is."

The group settled in nicely with drinks and games of poker. Javik got bored and turned the bar into a makeshift shooting gallery. This went on for awhile until James finished his drink and looked to the groom. "Hey, Major, mind getting me another, por favor?"

"Sure, what do you wa-" Kaidan was cut off as he almost tripped when something heavy held him to the ground. He looked to his ankles and saw a ball and chain tied around it. The men snickered, and the major rolled his eyes and laughed in spite of himself.

"You're stuck forever, man." James commented. Kaidan carefully took the chains off, as it was not locked, and stared at them in sudden confusion.

"Wait. If you are all here, then how did you get that ball and chain around my ankle?"

"Glyph!" Donnelly called. The VI flew in. "I worked with Liara so he could be available to her with Shepard and on the Normandy. I added a few features so he could carry objects a short distance. While you were distracted by the game, he put the ball and chain on you."

"You made the machine more powerful? Are you a fool?" Javik asked, incredulous. He was ignored. Kaidan pushed the chains aside.

"Not an accurate analogy for marriage with Shepard."

"Amen to that. Shepard will give you one hell of an interesting life." Garrus said, raising his drink in the air. "But it will be a fun one."


	12. Kaidan's Morning

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

Time was running short. Last minute plans were fixed and more people found themselves on the Normandy preparing, such as Kaidan's mother. His mother was a dark-haired woman with hair that reached her shoulders. Her eyes were his eye color. She was very cordial and easy to get along with. Mrs. Alenko got along well with Shepard (who showed her Kaidan's baby book as sweet revenge,) and hit it off with Shepard's mother. The two mothers quickly became good friends.

The night before the wedding, Kaidan and Jane were forbidden from seeing each other once they went to bed. Kaidan almost went with her, but was dragged down to the crew deck by his mom. Glyph held vigil in the elevator to make sure neither the bride nor groom would try to seek out the other in the middle of the night. Although nerves made it difficult, eventually everyone fell asleep. The ship had already docked on Demeter, and the next day was dawning.

Around seven in the morning, someone nudged and woke up Kaidan. The man groaned. "Come on, just five more minutes..." There was a pause, and then Kaidan got the shock of ice cold water being dumped over his head. He gasped and shot up in his bed, narrowly missing banging his head on the bucket Javik was holding over him. The groomsmen around him snickered.

"Are you awake now?" The prothean asked irritably. "The women want us off the ship in an hour."

"Off the ship? What? Why?" Kaidan shivered and shook his head in a weak effort to become dry.

"We got visitors this morning," Garrus clarified, "Aside from the bridesmaids? Shepard's mom, your mom, Chakwas, EDI, Gabi, and Samantha, we've also now got Samara, Bakara, and Kelly onboard."

"Why do we have that?"

"Something about a surprise for Lola." James said with a shrug. They ate their breakfast, took showers, and got dressed. Kaidan was the second one done, second to Javik. The prothean had just put on a black version of his armor and tied a bow tie around his neck and declared himself ready. As soon as the groom was ready, his mother set to work on fiddling with his tie and nitpicking.

"Oh, Honey, your tie is asymmetrical...look at all this lint on you! Let me just use the lint roller...did you comb your hair?" Kaidan blushed as much of the crew watched in amusement.

"Ma..." Kaidan whined. His mother scoffed.

"Kaidan, dear, you're getting married today. To add to it, you're getting married to the most famous woman in the galaxy. God forbid I let you go out there looking imperfect!" She knelt down and used the lint roller over his pant legs. He blushed even more.

"I can do it, Ma-"

"Like hell you can. I'm not letting you half-ass this. I love you to pieces, but your biotic static electricity is attracting all this lint and I need to tend to it myself." she said. Joker was having a very difficult time trying not to laugh at the spectacle. His smirk was wiped off his face, however, when his wife approached.

"Hey, EDI." he greeted. She scanned his for a moment and frowned.

"Your tie is ten percent out of symmetry. Hold still." The AI began to fiddle with his tie. Joker frowned as well.

"Sweetheart, I'm fine. No one is going to notice."

"I noticed." EDI retorted. She then turned to Mrs. Alenko when she was done fixing the tie. "Do you have any extra lint rollers?"

"I don't, but I'm almost done with Kaidan for now..." She finished the lint rolling and tossed the roller to EDI. "Use it as much as you want on your hubby." Like Shepard's mother, Kaidan's mother had not cared that much about EDI's presence on the Normandy. Apparently having a biotic child was enough to make her fairly immune to most shock.

"So we're done then?" Kaidan asked hopefully. His mother pulled a comb from her pocket.

"No, Kaidan. I've got to comb that hair of yours."

"Ma..."

"Shh. I'm doing it because I love you." She began running the comb through her son's hair. Kaidan grimaced.

"Ma, I can do it my-" She glared at him, and Kaidan silenced, intimidated by her glare. Cortez, Garrus, and James snickered. Javik found the whole situation rather boring, as could be told by his blank stare off towards an empty wall. Soon all the gentlemen were ready. EDI was done grooming her husband and Kaidan's mother was done grooming her son for the time.

They were then promptly told to get off the ship. Glyph approached. "There is a tent outside for you to wait in a short distance away from where the ceremony will be held. Follow me."

* * *

The men were led to a tent on a cement ground just near the where the ceremony was to be, as told. On the way they saw many people getting ready. They were going to the reception area to set up tables and flowers, to the aisle to adorn a white gazebo with flowers under which the couple was to be wed. Chairs were being placed, and lots of them with the many guests. Reporters murmured among themselves, and ships were landing with guests. Caterers were hustling and bustling in and out of a kitchen in the building where the reception was to be. Even in all of this, the entire place seemed to be covered in a thin morning dew, which was ignored by almost everyone. They were far too busy to notice.

Kaidan was watching much of it through the flap in the tent, overcome by silence. Cortez finally approached him and prodded him to get his attention. He sighed. "I know how you're feeling, Kaidan. It's a lot to take in. I remember the feeling when I got married to my late husband. But it's worth it."

"Thanks, Cortez."

"Not a problem."

"I suppose now would be a bad time to ask if you're planning anything for the future?" Garrus asked, the turian awkwardly fiddling with his suit while talking. Kaidan smiled a little.

"Yeah. Move into that apartment. One day even have kids if we're lucky. Jane said herself she wouldn't mind having kids one day."

"Hah! That's an interesting image. Little biotic Shepard-Alenko kids." James interjected. Kaidan raised an eyebrow.

"What makes you so sure they'll be biotic?"

"Well...you're a biotic. Lola's a biotic. Both of you have probably spent considerable amounts of time around eezo." James responded. The sentinel rolled his eyes.

"Just because Shepard and I are biotic doesn't mean a thing. That hasn't been proven yet that it increases the chances of having biotic children."

"Yeah, but even if that doesn't affect it, again, you guys are around element zero all the time." Garrus responded. Kaidan shrugged.

"Why are we talking about this now, anyways?"

"I did kind of ask." Garrus groaned. "You think the women would allow me to go back onboard and ask for my sniper rifle? I could do some target practice while I'm waiting..."

"Nope." Cortez replied. The turian again let out an exasperated sigh. Javik had been quiet the whole time. The groom looked over to him.

"Javik, you've been quiet. You okay?"

"I suppose I am in an adequate mood for now. I was just remembering what the Prothean equivalent for marriage, as you primitives call it, was like."

"Oh?"

"Yes. We did have periods of courtship, but we did not specifically get married as humans do. There usually was no ceremony at all. The periods of courtship lasted at least five years, and then if both in the pair consented, they signed a legal document combining their property and relations. If a pair was heterosexual and viable, they were expected to breed for the empire. Homosexual, sterile, and other legal pairs such as two different species together were not frowned upon at all, but were expected to adopt orphans. Often people mated solely for the sake of breeding to keep up the population of the empire. It was considered a patriotic duty to house or give birth to children."

"So very...family oriented?" Cortez struggled for words, raising an eyebrow. Javik shook his head.

"I did not expect primitives to understand. It was to keep up army size. It was never about family. Whenever a citizen of the empire grew to the age of adulthood of his or her respective species and was physically able, they were expected to serve for a time."

"So what happened if a partner in a relationship cheated on their significant other?" Cortez asked curiously.

"It almost never happened. It was seen as a form of treason in the empire. We did not kill them. Instead, if one cheated, their genitals were blown off with a high precision laser."

All the men simultaneously winced. "Harsh." Cortez responded.

"But extremely effective."

"But _damn,_ harsh."

"All this talk reminds me of something I need to say." Garrus interrupted. He cleared his throat, stood up, and approached Kaidan. He came face to face with him. "Alenko, I'm glad it's you marrying Shepard and not some moron. But if you _ever_ hurt Shepard, I will snipe your head and then mount it to the CIC. We clear?"

Kaidan nodded firmly. "I will _never_ do such a thing. I couldn't live without her."

The turian smiled again, though it was hard to tell. "Then we see eye-to-eye."


	13. Jane's Morning

**Tried to base this a bit on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which is one of my favorite movies.**

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

Shepard knew she was awake, but did not want to rise from her cocoon of warm, soft blankets. The day ahead intimidated her a bit, and she was so cozy. She had been told to try to wake up at eight, and she stared at the clock as it was a quarter til. The admiral flipped over in her bed, hoping turning away from the clock would somehow make it stop time. But fifteen minutes later, the alarm's irritating buzzing noises pestered her. She threw a hand over it and turned off the alarm. Shepard then spent about five minutes pulling herself out of bed. Knowledge of the day made her shiver. It was her day. Her wedding day.

She schlepped into the shower and washed herself as warm water flowed over her. Shepard finished and quickly dried off her body, put on her uniform which she would change later, and wrapped a towel around her hair. Half-asleep, she wandered into the elevator and clicked to go to the crew deck for a bite to eat. A few seconds later the door opened and she walked out into the mess hall...and stopped short.

All the women of the ship and some other friends, Samara, Kelly, and Bakara, were seated around the mess hall table. All were already dressed and empty plates save for some crumbs sat before them, implying they had already eaten. The women all smiled at her and wished her a good morning. "What...what are all of you doing here?" Shepard asked, baffled.

"Helping you on your special day, Shepard. Take a seat." Bakara said, pulling out a seat next to her. Shepard awkwardly sat down as everyone watched her. Samara took a plate of food from EDI in the kitchen a few feet away and placed it before Shepard with her biotics.

"Eat. You need the energy." Samara said calmly. Again awkwardly, Shepard hastily ate her breakfast to escape the room full of other women. After finishing, she stood up.

"Well, I'll go get rea-"

"Bride prep is a-go! Repeat, bride prep is a-go!" Tali cried. The next thing Shepard knew, she was engulfed by women. They hauled her to her room and took over everything. The admiral was extremely confused and a bit paralyzed by all the attention. She could barely tell what was going on; was that her mother and Kaidan's mother fussing over her hair? Yanking it and causing her to hiss in pain as they attempted to tame the unruly curls? Were the ladies...Christ on a cracker, since when did she change into her gown? Did they do that too? This all occurred as Samantha Traynor tried to clean Shepard's teeth with another brush that used small mass effect fields.

Jack, Miranda, and Kasumi fussed over her makeup as Tali carefully placed her tiara and veil on her head and straightened out the veil. Liara was helping the mothers fuss with Shepard's thick red locks to get it perfect. The other women were fluffing out the dress on her or even putting on jewelry; Samara was putting in earrings all the while. Shepard didn't even have a chance to say she could do it herself. Finally, all pulled back to admire their work. They then turned to EDI, who examined her carefully and then made her judgement.

"The veil is ten percent asymmetrical, her right cheek could use a touch more of blush, she's got a knot on the left side of her hair...and her dress could be fluffed out twenty five percent more."

The women were on her again, workers with a queen. She grunted. "Guys...umph...I can...ugh...handle it my-"

"Shut up, Shepard, you suck at this stuff." Jack snapped. Shepard was further ignored. Finally they pulled back and EDI examined her again.

"The admiral is now ready."

Shepard was shoved by Liara in front of the mirror in her bathroom. She was beautiful indeed. Her hair fell, loose and curled, a little past her shoulders. Her gown took its place perfectly on her body, and her veil gently wavered as she walked. Makeup was just right, and silver jewelry adorned her neck and ears while her tiara attached to the veil shimmered. In spite of this, she frowned. "I look like an abominable snowman." she protested. They all let out aww's and reassured her she would be perfect as is. Indeed, it was quite a departure from Shepard's usually haphazard ponytail and Alliance uniform. But it suited the day.


	14. The Wedding March

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

**Stay tuned for an epilogue.**

Everyone was ready. Guests had taken their seats, and a minister was waiting at the end of a long aisle under a white gazebo with red and white flowers tied along the archway. The aisle itself was a brick pathway. Kaidan was waiting at the end of the aisle nervously; he was twiddling his thumbs absentmindedly.

Soon the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked in, respectively led by the Best Man and Maid of Honor. Ladies on the left, men on the right. The order was mostly randomized on who walked next to who, but Tali and Garrus had elected to come second in both of their lines; thus standing together on the way down. They took their spots standing on the sides of the groom and bride.

Then Grunt walked in, carefully holding a pillow with two rings. Under normal conditions, they would've never allowed the actual rings to be carried for fear of them falling off. Grunt had been stubborn and persisted in practicing, and was allowed to carry the real rings. He proudly smiled as he was the center of attention walking down.

There was no single flower girl. Instead, there were six! A young human, turian, salarian, asari, quarian, and krogan girl bounded down the aisle cheerfully, tossing their petals all about. The girls giggled and gleefully tossed petals both at each other playfully and on the ground.

Finally, the music cued. It was a lovely rendition of Here Comes The Bride. Shepard was escorted in by Wrex, their arms interlocked. Everyone stood in respect and turned to the bride. Kaidan himself had to restrain his jaw from dropping; she was absolutely beautiful. His efforts failed, and Joker snickered as he gently pushed up the groom's jaw.

Shepard took a look all around at the crowd. Sure, there were reporters filming in the corners of the crowd, but she did not notice them. She saw friends and family. Her and Kaidan's mother were dabbing their eyes with tissues and beaming. Major Kirrahe was even in the crowd of guests watching, as was Oriana Lawson and Kolyat Krios. Chakwas was beside the mothers of the bride and groom, not crying, but proudly looking on. EDI was obviously happy, and somewhat fascinated by the whole thing.

Gabi and Ken were beside each other, watching the bride walk. Engineer Adams was there too. Even old Mess Sergeant Gardner came. A number of quarian admirals and friends of Tali were there. Liara's father, Aethyta, was grinning. She looked to her daughter, Liara, who smiled back. Doctor Chloe Michel was present. Garrus's sister and father were nearby the front, to be close to their brother and son.

Commander Bailey was standing next to the councilors. A new human councilor was present, the new one who took over Udina's spot; Councilor Dominic Osoba. All the councilors and Bailey were proudly watching the Spectre walk. A number of other Spectres were with them. Urdnot Bakara was holding her baby and carefully watching Wrex. Samara stood so stoic she almost appeared as a statue, until a stray tear escaped her eye. The justicar made no effort to hide it. Jacob and his wife, Brynn Coleson (or Taylor now,) were watching. A baby girl was held by Brynn. On the edge of the blanket wrapped around the babe had her name inscribed: Jane Shepard Taylor. Samantha Traynor and Kelly Chambers were right next to each other, holding hands.

On the maids' side, Liara looked incredibly proud, urging her best friend on with a mere look. Tali's facial expression was largely hidden by her mask, but from her body language you could extract joy. Miranda was simply smiling. Jack was grinning and nodding her head to Shepard, as if to say "You did good, Shepard." Kasumi's usually naughty demeanor was mixed with a coy appreciation for the day.

On the men's side, Garrus watched Shepard. When he noticed she met his eyes, he darted his head to Kaidan, who did not notice the action. The turian quickly made a slashing across the neck motion, letting her know what Garrus would do if Kaidan made a mistake (which he would never.) Jane merely chuckled at the motion. James...was James _crying?_ Cortez was also happy. Javik just stood there with a blank expression.

For a split second, Shepard swore she saw ghosts behind the alter. Ghosts of Pressly, Jenkins, Thane, Ashley, Mordin, and Anderson all pleased with the day. But when she did a double take, they disappeared. With a blink of confusion, she came to the conclusion she had been imagining things with a small, sad sigh.

And then there was Kaidan. Kaidan had so many emotions on his face. Awe, utter joy, nervousness to name a few. When their eyes locked onto each others', the other emotions faded away. Kaidan and Jane were certain they were ready. After what seemed like forever when in reality it had been but a few moments, the music faded. The minister spoke.

"Who gives away the bride?"

"I do, on behalf of Clan Urdnot." Wrex proudly spoke. He reluctantly let go of Shepard and she took her spot to the left of Kaidan. Wrex nodded to her and took his seat next to Bakara. The minister spoke again.

"Please be seated." Everyone sat down. "We are gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony of Jane Shepard and Kaidan Alenko..." He went on for a little while. Vows were exchanged as well as rings, and finally the key words were spoken. "Kaidan Alenko, do you take Jane Shepard to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, until death do you part?"

"I do." he said.

"Good. Jane Shepard, do you take Kaidan Alenko to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, until death do you part?"

"I do." she said.

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Kaidan did not waste a second to kiss her. Everyone stood up again and cheered and clapped. Finally they pulled apart and Kaidan and Shepard lifted two locked hands into the air. They made their way back down the aisle, their first steps married. Finally, when they reached the end of the aisle, Jack whistled.

"Let's get this party started!" In response, there were cheers and laughs. Kaidan and Shepard smiled at each other. Both felt so right with each other. They only walked a short distance to a large building where the reception was held. As soon as the music started playing, everyone stood around Kaidan and Shepard, expecting them to have the first dance. The admiral blushed as Kaidan did not hesitate to take his new wife into his arms and dance. It was a strange conglomeration of finger-pointing and shuffling in one dance. It was so awful and yet romantic it inspired clapping and laughing yet again. Even the councilors cracked a smile at the goofy display by their two human Spectres. A lovely bond between two terrible dancers.

The reception was lovely. They ate, danced, dined, and partied. Once again, though, in a midst of the crowd, Shepard swore again she saw those same ghosts. They disappeared yet again when she took a second look. Kaidan that time had noticed Shepard staring off into what seemed empty space and asked if anything was wrong. His bride came back to reality and shook her head a little forlornly. Yet, he kissed her again, and her angst faded away for the moment.

When Shepard tossed her bouquet, Tali yet again caught it, earning even more 'ooh's.' Garrus yet again winked at her. Finally, as they made their way to the Normandy, which would be taking them on their honeymoon to English Bay. Joker and EDI were to head off to Hawaii for dry dock and retrofits for the Normandy, when they would also spend their long-overdue honeymoon as well on the islands.

When they approached the entranced to the Normandy, as everyone watched, Kaidan hoisted Shepard into his arms. The admiral allowed it as she was carried onboard. When the door closed behind them and he walked through the bridge and the CIC, he spoke to his new wife.

"Jane, we've had some crazy years together. And now we're married. I'll never let you go again, and I'm yours and you're mine. My life before you was...it just wasn't right. Now I have you, and you're the light of my life. I love you more than anything."

Shepard merely chuckled and smiled at her husband. "And they all lived happily ever after, Kaidan?" The major laughed in response.

"And they all lived happily ever after, Jane. Now let's consummate this thing." he said as they made their way to the Captain's Cabin. Indeed, everyone lived happily ever after.


	15. Epilogue

**Mass Effect (c) Bioware**

**SEQUEL AWAAAYYYY**

It was a few weeks after Shepard and Kaidan's first anniversary. After their honeymoon was over, the two had decided to take their mothers on a vacation across the galaxy, as Kaidan had wanted to do for his mother before. Hannah Shepard was happy to come along. After this trip ended, they were given small missions from system to system, but they continuously got less missions. They kept being asked to go to the Citadel and do Spectre missions there, and even Shepard had begun to notice a trend. The Alliance seemed as if it was trying to wean the couple off major missions and move Shepard into a permanent station on the Citadel. They had also been trying the same thing with Kaidan.

Truthfully, the Normandy crew was busy themselves. The quarians gained an embassy on the Citadel once more for their actions fighting the Reapers, and Garrus had married Tali a few months after the other wedding. Garrus had actually been told by the Primarch to be one of a group of advisors to him. That, and, quote, "Do whatever the hell Shepard tells you to do. You work with her now as well." The couple had not been separated much. The Shepard-Alenko family rarely left the Citadel anymore. Finally Garrus and Tali could afford with both of their jobs an apartment on the Citadel. An apartment right next door to Kaidan and Shepard's. The two couples were neighbors and, though not by blood or law, family.

James was off on his N7 training. Liara and Javik originally stayed aboard the Normandy, nowhere else to go. Eventually Liara got the apartment next door to Tali and Garrus, and Javik moved in with her. Liara secretly carried out her Shadow Broker duties there while Javik stayed and wrote a book with her. They would go on missions when called on, but those instances were getting rare.

Joker and EDI were often asked to run out to do odd jobs. Joker was happy as long as he got to go out frequently, but even he was disappointed by the lack of serious work. Still, he manned the ship of an Alliance admiral, something he was damn proud of. The ship would always be Shepard's, suited for an admiral who would have to come and go.

One night those few weeks after the first anniversary, Kaidan sat down with Shepard to have a talk. "Jane, listen, I got an offer from the Alliance."

"Oh?" his wife asked.

"Grissom Academy's finally opening up again, this time on the Citadel. The Alliance asked me to teach there and also train more black-ops soldiers. I can say no, but Jane...the Alliance is probably reluctant to have us on the same ship together. Afraid of having another incident like we had three or four years go. You're busy with your admiral duties on the Citadel as well..."

"Well, we did do that one mission on Thessia the other day...but that was once in two weeks we had a major mission. Anyways, what are you leading up to, Kaidan?"

"I'm just saying, with all the time we spend here nowadays...sweetie, do you think it might be time to have those kids we talked about?"

Shepard frowned. She had a feeling it was leading to that. "Kids? Already?"

"I know, but if you don't want to, just say no."

The wife let out a sigh. "I honestly don't know how I feel about that, Kaidan. Look, it's getting late, why don't we go to bed and I'll sleep on it?"

Kaidan grinned. "Sounds good."

"But no action tonight. I'm feeling queasy."

He shrugged. "Okay."

* * *

At six a.m. the next morning, Kaidan was woken up by the sounds of gagging and retching. Worried, he sprung out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where his wife hung over the toilet seat. "Shep?"

"Kai-" She gagged again. Kaidan grabbed and held her hair as she was ill. When it passed, she let out a long groan of exhaustion. "I feel like death." she complained.

"Come on, let's get you to Doctor Chakwas-"

"No! I probably just ate some bad food. I'll be fine-" She retched again into the toilet. Kaidan sighed and pulled out his omni-tool.

"Chakwas? Listen, can you please help? Shepard isn't feeling too well..."

* * *

Shepard was hauled to the Normandy by Kaidan along with Liara, Tali, and Garrus. Javik had stayed behind as they hurried. The admiral was soon in the med bay, being examined and tested by Chakwas. Shepard snorted at the whole thing; she just had food poisoning, she didn't need to go to the damn doctor. _Obviously_ Kaidan was just being overprotective.

It didn't take long for Chakwas to smile as she approached Shepard. "See, guys? She's smiling. I knew it was nothing serious." Jane asserted.

"I wouldn't say it's nothing serious. That is, unless you think being pregnant isn't serious."

Kaidan gasped, Garrus laughed, and Tali glared at Garrus as he laughed. Shepard blinked.

"Say what now? You're kidding me, right?"

"No, not kidding. You're very much pregnant, Shepard. Got two in the oven from the looks of it. And thanks to modern tests, I can tell you now you have a boy and a girl in there."

"_Two?"_ Kaidan asked incredulously. His wife's eye twitched.

"Two babies? Two of them? Twins?"

"Not identical twins; two different eggs, as identical twins cannot be opposite genders, but yes. You've got twins in there. And considering you spent time on Thessia a few days ago, I wouldn't be surprised if both are biotic."

"_Biotic_ twins? Shit." Garrus remarked. Shepard struggled for words while Kaidan and Tali finally let out excited shouts.

"I'm gonna be a _father?_"

"I'm gonna be an _aunt?_"

Shepard groaned. "Am I gonna have to deal with this for nine months?"

"Yes, but at least you don't have to leave the Alliance. You can continue work managing a fleet on the Citadel. The Normandy is here for you whenever you need it as an admiral. You just won't be in combat is all." Chakwas said. "Now, I'll set up appointments for you to come visit me so we can check on you and those buns in the oven."

"And I'll take that job I was talking about." Kaidan said. He had a smile so large it had only been seen once before: the same smile he bore at his wedding. The man was ecstatic. "I'm so excited. I'm gonna be a dad!"

"Great for you. You're not the one who has to carry them." Shepard groaned and laid back on the examination table. "Mommy has to vomit for nine months straight."


End file.
